Should I be Worried About This?
From the desk of Jane Ballis, MA, LCPC
This is one of the biggest questions that parents ask about their
children and teens.
My answer is the same to all parents.
Why are you concerned about this? Has their behavior recently
changed, is it extreme, are you seeing this as a bigger problem? Do
others in their same age range exhibit similar things not just the
others they hang out with? What do you think would happen if they
continue this behavior?
A few of these questions brings out
concerns about the issues. Sometimes it is good to get an outside
opinion of the situation because certain behaviors are typical for an
age and some are not. Concern should not be ignored because if the
issues are not addressed the situation could long lasting
implications for an entire life. My child is having difficulty making
friends may turn into social diffiuclties that could derail the child
from getting a job or having a meaningful relationship.
The sooner
you recognize a problem, you should address it immediately. One or
two times can turn into a cycle so it is important to deal with
things as they come up. Talking to your spouse, partner, family
member, fellow parent is a good first step. Find out how others have
dealt with similar situations in the past, what worked and didn't
work. Ask you child or teen about their behavior, what is their
reasoning for it. They might not know, but don't overreact to
whatever they say. They will shut down quickly if they feel judged or
belittled. It is important to keep a dialogue that shows you are open
to listening and understanding. Then take the time to think perhaps
for an hour, day, or week before you respond to them. Ask them if
they think it's a problem and then ask if they would like to change
this behavior. Your child or teen may be as concerned as you are and
want some ideas or to gain your support.
Lastly, if that doesn't
help, seek professional help. A professional can give you ideas or
support your child in making a change.
Just keep in mind anything
regarding at risk behaviors or safety issues such as threats of
hurting themselves, others or any major changes in personality or
behaviors should be addressed immediately.
